Are you aligned with: separation, union or sitting on a fence?

“Honouring the needs of your soul is an unfolding that requires great levels of trust, openness and vulnerability. ​
The journey is an epic one with unimaginable expansions that take place within you and around you.
Where are you being called to step in and receive?” Destini


Unavailable Men – What Keeps You From Unity – Are You Aligned?

With all the bumps and bruises of his life
HE had developed a protective shell
Cautious as a turtle
Sometimes allowing his head
To emerge and swell
But HE had a condition of inhibited release
So HE couldn’t let go
It was his way to being in separation
Instead of unity

All the bumps and bruises of his life
Had developed a protective shell
HE was sitting on the fence holding back
Afraid of jumping into the action
Fearful HE might be hurt
Perhaps a contract should be signed
To guarantee his safety
It was his way of being in separation
Instead of unity

All the bumps and bruises of his life
Had developed a protective shell
Striking a fast ball
His running speed gave him a home run
But HE was out of there fast
With a condition of premature ejaculation
It was his way of being in separation
Instead of unity

All the bumps and bruises of his life
Had developed a protective shell
HE would eat his appetizers
But never commit to a full meal
For he was a man about town
A woman’s man
It was his way of being in separation
Instead of unity

All the bumps and bruises of his life
Had developed a protective shell
HE was a workaholic
With no time to devote or get serious
It was his way of staying in separation
Instead of unity

All the bumps and bruises of his life
Had developed a protective shell
HE no longer could start his car
Let alone drive it…
A condition of impotence
HE had forgotten or never knew
About the care and attention a car needs
In order to work properly over the years
It was his way of being in separation
Instead of unity

All the bumps and bruises of his life
Had developed a protective shell
As HE quickly escaped
Into his pungent mind-altering marijuana cloud
A sign on the door of his mind read
Private, do not disturb
Tripping through mental states
It was his way of being in separation
Instead of unity

All the bumps and bruises of his life
Had developed a protective shell
HE was off floating about
In a sexual faraway fantasy land
Unable to be fully present
HE held his fantasy doll tight
It was his way to get a charge
While being in separation
Instead of unity

Why not align into me HE said
Fall in step
Like 2 peas in a pod
Walk my walk and talk my talk
Take the courses I take
Follow my thinking, beliefs, philosophies as your own
Be my Bobbsey Twin, or else
Add me to your list of unavailable men
Was this his way of being in separation
Instead of unity?


“We are all equal in the fact that we are all different. We are all the same in the fact that we will never be the same. We are united by the reality that all colours and all cultures are distinct & individual. We are harmonious in the reality that we are all held to this earth by the same gravity. We don’t share blood, but we share the air that keeps us alive. I will not blind myself and say that my black brother is not different from me. I will not blind myself and say that my brown sister is not different from me. But my black brother is he as much as I am me. But my brown sister is she as much as I am me.”
― C. JoyBell C.

The Voice of Wisdom

The HE with inhibited release began to develop hip problems as did the HE sitting on the fence. Thought forms or patterns of consciousness can precipitate possible disorders in the body. If something is awry with the thinking, the body is the place it plays out. “Messages From The Body” by Michael J. Lincoln describes the psychological meanings of many illnesses, ailments, disorders that can occur in the body and which represent a warning system that can be understood, modified and even mended. Hip issues in general represent a real fear of moving forward.

Write up your story – it helps to see your stories and beliefs that keep you mis-aligned or aligned in separation. Lift the veil for clarity so you can begin to fully experience your life and love more fully. Transform the issues that keep you from being fully in intimacy. Develop trust as you allow your heart to open and as you release old toxic coping mechanisms of armoring and protection. All patterns, habits, beliefs that have compromised your life can now brought forward to review and disassemble, so that you no longer have to remain in a state of separation and conflict.

If you were an athlete, wouldn’t you want to give 100% effort to the game. Why hold back? Even if there are a few bumps along the way you will learn from it and it makes you an even better athlete. Whether you sit on the side lines, hide in the closet, jump in and out like a helter-skelter rabbit or get distracted with other things, life is passing you by. Enter the beautiful, unified field of deep love, freedom, joy and ecstasy. Our relationships are a spring board for interacting with our wider world.

“True freedom is where an individual’s thoughts and actions are in alignment with that which is true, correct, and of honor – no matter the personal price.” Bryant H. McGill

The Sore Hip

“Go back?” he thought. “No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!” So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

The Perfect Lovers - Moving Forward

Whisperings for the Inability To Move Forward

Painful hip reflections
Glimmered as a mirror in the water
But the inability to move forward
Had him stuck, stalled and glued in place

“You are not your body”, said the whisperings,
“But a being of the universal consciousness…
Can you connect to the cosmic forces you cannot see
Because you are gifted with the potential to create,
For you are one with all”

HE was seeking divine inspiration
To illuminate his way
But his body had a mind of it’s own
Expressing it’s own thoughts
As it worked blindly in the dark, like a machine

“You are not your body – you are a co-creator
With the Oneness of the Universe
You can be fed with knowledge from the God-Mind
Only if you have the burning desire to become One with Him
Then and only then will your abilities and potential be magnified and strengthened”

“Be in unity with Source
Using divine inspiration for direction
Move forward in life
Past the rumblings of your sore hip
Into the waters of joy and ecstasy

The Voice of Wisdom
From the philosophy to Dr Walter Russell

“My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing beauty of life once more. It’s happened before, it will happen again, I’m sure. When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive–I’ll find love again.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

Coyote’s Transformation

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

The Perfect Lovers - Coyote's Transformation

Taking Responsibility

The tension was primed
Like a pimple to pop
Sounds echoed
As the coyote was hit
Falling by the roadside
And when approached
He ran off to lick his wounds
Preparing for his own transformation
As the life force was taken out

“There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.”
― J.K. Rowling

Voice of Wisdom
Reflecting on the past – HE remembered that once upon a time HE was in a car accident and HE believed HE would die. HE asked someone nearby to hold his hand for HE didn’t want to die alone…..and wanted more time so HE could begin to live out more of his potential.

Reflecting on the present – HE had been going through a bout of heartburn for months which was affecting his throat and had inquired what might be the source of his problem for he was very concerned. One day he said in a joking manner…”Ha, Ha…you can’t read me – I’ve figured it out on my own. Guess what the problem was? I’ll tell you. It happens after I eat, when I turn myself upside down and do bicycling exercises, that’s when the problem starts!

Shortly before this realization of his own health, HE had the experience of trying to help a coyote who really didn’t want his help. To be involved or see (in some shape or form) the death of a animal that is considered a “totem” can bring some aspect of one’s life into focus. Coyote’s energy is linked to a “trickster” with a teaching of how wisdom and folly can go hand-in-hand and to be ready for a curve ball being thrown in your direction to help you work through what you need to work through. Coyote is about trust and gives the ability to see through illusions.

HE was so upset no one was stopping to help the wounded animal that had been hit. The woman who had hit the animal had stopped but she was fearful to go close. HE was beside himself on the best way to help and when HE got close to the animal, the animal immediately moved off to another location. HE drove off to get some help from authorities but when HE returned empty handed the animal had died. All the effort HE put forth was to no avail as it appeared the animal did not want his assistance.

HE finally realized how the incident related to some things going on in his own life. For instance, HE would go out of his way to help people in order to boost himself up and now might question…. who is really going to benefit from the giving and why?

There is a Grimm’s fairy tale about how too much giving weakens. It is called The Princess and the Frog. It is a fairy tale about a spoiled princess who lives with her father who takes care of all her needs and she proceeds to meet up with a frog who creates some tension in her life. Because she is living with her father the king, all her needs and more are taken care of and she has become quite passive and spoiled. Tension starts to build with the frog where she eventually she has to summon up all her power in order to throw him against the wall. Her new found strength and the splattering of his body help both of them transform. HE becomes a prince wh is a little more laid back and SHE becomes a woman of strength and substance, no longer dependent on Daddy. The fact of the matter is that when everything is given to someone they can become lazy, spoiled and laid back…never getting around to developing themselves or coming into their own power or potential. The princess grows up becoming a woman and and marries the prince to live happily ever after.

When people are overly coddled, with their every need taken care of, or assisted such as in welfare, a tendency can be to lay back and expect others or big daddy to provide or do the work. This sets the stage where they don’t reach their full potential. In intimacy, many men bend over backwards to give to their women in bedroom and then wonder why the woman is so laid back and never takes the initiative or interest to work on them.

“Some people look as if they have lost their eagerness and passion. Their aspiration seems to be exhausted and fresh inspiration has abandoned their weary mind. Life has boundlessly given them material welfare, which has fully spoiled them in the end. No energy for longing has been left, as they have reached a twilight zone. The twilight of desire. ( “Twilight of desire” ) ― Erik Pevernagie

The Female Body

The Dangling on The Female Body

So comfortable was she
As she slid out of that house-robe
With her blue mop of hair
Her unique style of positioning
The female body, for all to see

An ivory porcelain face
With full lips and sleepy eyes
In a dream state
While graceful hands and feet
Seemed to point the time away….

And then I noticed the dangling
Like an earring dropped
Between her legs
So beautiful was she.

Fantasia de Fleurs

The Perfect Lovers - Female Body

An Analyst Viewpoint:
Some people feel comfortable with their bodies and try to accentuate them in various ways to make them even more beautiful, while other people do not feel comfortable with their bodies and try to either hide or alter them into what they feel is a more acceptable version. The altering of genitals is called genital modification and/or genital mutilation referring to permanent or temporary changes to the human sex organs. Many people are deciding to have genital cosmetic surgery. But the fact of the matter is that the size, shape, and form of women and men’s genitals vary greatly, and change over time. They are like unique parts of nature such as flowers and all have their own special colouring and shape. Yet doctors are promoting “before and after‟ photographs of women’s labia, which invite people to believe that they might need some kind of surgery to promote beautification and enhancement. Just as each person has their own viewpoint of what makes a beautiful painting so should we be careful of being brainwashed into someone else’s viewpoint. Most people have little opportunity to see the genitals of others unless on porn sites
so they can easily be deceived into thinking they are sexually inadequate.

Labiaplasty is a procedure designed to remove excess skin folds from the outside opening of the vagina. There are many websites that will show before and after pics – it will show the cutting off and mutilating of these beautiful original flowers.

Dance Like A Butterfly and Sting Like A Bee

“Dance is the hidden language of the soul”
― Martha Graham



Many of us encounter some bumps and bruises in our interactions as we travel through life and we often decide to put up a shield or coat of armor in order to protect ourselves. This often happens in the arena of love, but can also happen through strangers in regards to rape and unpleasant encounters or arguments.

Relationships are an avenue for learning and developing ourselves. Some individuals who encountered painful interactions feel they can no longer give or receive love. Others become teachers of what to do when you encounter a person who will bruise. Still others will retreat and hide behind a protective wall sometimes for a lifetime. It is important to understand what was the learning about as it is different for each individual. All experiences in life are meant to teach you something. We are not supposed to be hiding in shells shaking in fear. We need to overcome our traumas and learn from them.

There is a close relationship between nutritional imbalances and our psychological behavior. A hair analysis report from the lab can show this close connection. It will show how the mind and body interconnect. If you can get on a path of ideal nutrition it will help heal your bruises and wounds so you don’t have to carry the scab or a suit of armor for the rest of your life. If you happen to be the person giving out the bruises your hair analysis will also describe your nutrition patterns that create that personality type. Treat your interactions with respect and as a dance. Learn when to duck, twist, turn or embrace.

There is also a close relationship between the unveiling of your shadows and gifts and the style of your dance.


If you would like to discuss any issues you might have contact me and download your Gene Keys on the Find Your Story page.

Intimacy is a Schoolhouse

“Education is that whole system of human training within and without the school house walls, which molds and develops men.”
W. E. B. Du Bois

School House

Intimacy is a school house
But not for the dumb or blind
There’s lots of intimate lessons
To toll heart and mind

Painted shadows will dance and sing
Even mock if provoked
But when stripped and examined carefully
Their lessons become uncloaked

For a partner’s mirror helps you see
The upsets, fears and fragility
This learning, for great lovers to be
Helps them connect ever so deeply


First, you must heal your past, your hurts, experiences and thoughts that shape your attitudes and beliefs.
Many of these beliefs interfere with being a great lover. These beliefs are often problem areas and are called shadows.
(one example of a problem area is the imbalance of the animus & anima within us. Animus is the male and anima is the female.If a male is interested in giving up control with spankings, sucking on the feet of a woman, dressing up in woman’s clothes, being dominated, nurtured with breast feeding etc, his anima within him is not integrated)
We can transform the shadows into gifts. Let your past and your relationships be the tool to uncover your problem shadows for the benefit of your personal growth and better intimacy.

When we finally wake up, we start to uncover the meaning of our life and the reason for intimate experiences…then we attempt to discern what the lessons are. We need this understanding to advance in the schoolhouse of life. Eventually difficult lessons, no longer have to be repeated and we move up another level.

Breaking Down the Walls

The Sandcastle

Outer bodies of lovers embrace
With tongue lickings
On candy canes and flowery sweets
But is it enough
To break open the shell
Of my beautiful sand castle hence
Embellished with scraps
Of coloured glass
And driftwood for it’s defense

The tide will come one day
And sweep it all away
I will be left to dissolve
Back into the sea
My hidden oppression
Transmuted and set free


Prisoner of Guilt

How can there be intimacy
When there is guilt?
Have past wrongs locked shame into the hilt
Is sex at the root of these problems undercover
Is it guilt that makes you feel unworthy
To family, friends and lover

How do you go on living, even loving
When overcome by pain?

I see, you self confine – no involvement
Only casual encounters for superficial sex
The easy push of a button
Like T.V.
Escaping the complex
Momentary distractions
Quick snacks on the run
No time to commit
Just some light-hearted fun


Dry Lips

“An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” Mahatma Gandhi


Cultivate Respect

We hurt each other in so many ways
From hunting and fishing, to movies and plays
Blanket the terrorism, so doves may then glide
Through all interactions,
Bringing peace worldwide

Never hurt the one you love
Just resolve the pain from your past,
Treat others kindly with kid gloves
To help move mountains of feelings,
that may have amassed

It’s a work of art, to dance together
The hows and whys, of a slight trigger
The side-steps over ruffled feathers
And never utter, a disrespectful snicker

Relationships are a sacred privilege
Held with a thread of utmost respect
Not an entitlement to trample or leech
Or use for gratification or to neglect

The journey of awakening in intimacy involves
Not in finding the right person
But in becoming the right person…
One who can give honor and respect
To the self and others

One who can realize the divinity within
Leading to mutual commitment
To help each other mate with their God-self
And to grow towards balance and enlightenment


“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.” E.F. Schumacher

Bent Out of Shape



Blurred Lines, Blurred Morals

“We’ve objectified sex,” says Becky Lockwood, associate director of the Center for Women and Community in Amherst, Mass. “It’s almost a commodity now and it’s really unattached from any form of intimacy or emotional experience … people feel okay with doing whatever they can get.

Perhaps it was fitting that the rape-chant controversies that recently erupted at two Canadian universities so closely followed the outrage over a controversial rendition of the smash hit Blurred Lines at the MTV Video Music Awards.

The duet between original performer Robin Thicke and 20-year-old former Disney star Miley Cyrus prompted a backlash focusing on her part in the overtly sexual onstage antics, which were variously described as crude, vulgar and obscene. Still, it helped draw attention to a debate that has been raging over the lyrics of the song itself, not to mention the music video that’s helped cement its popularity.
Blurred Lines, blurred morals
Gary Mason
The Globe and Mail – Published Friday, Sep. 13 2013,

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